Our Movies, Our Realities

I was reading a series of posts on the Naked Soul. 

• Who Creates Reality
• Who Creates Reality II
• Who Creates Reality III

He addresses the topic rather well and gives us a lot to consider. It made me think back to my experiences on the subject.

I had a friend, Ziggy,  who use to speak in riddles, and this I say because most of the time no one really quite understood what he was trying to say. This one day he was having a disagreement with another friend. And his comment I recalled so cleary….”Your life is your movie and my movie doesn’t look like yours.” For years that statement stuck to me, close to 20 years later I still know it. But, it took sometime to realize exactly what he meant. And it’s that we create our own reality. How we perceive things and act upon things is all based on what we think of the situations. He called his life a movie and he explained that we are all directors of our own movies. And sometimes our movies might share similar things, but how we see it will always be different from others. Now if I’ve lost you that’s okay. I’m still not sure where I’m headed with this.

As I understand our own perception or our reality is really based on our interpretations of how we view the world. And why we will never see the same movie as others is simply because we are not them.  But, it goes deeper and your choices on how you see and view things does effect those around you and your releationship with them. Even your relationship with yourself.

As for me it effected a lot of things in my life. I had a child at a very young age. I dropped out of school for half a semester. I went back and graduated six months later than the rest of my class. I end up being a single mom, working two jobs to pay bills and putting myself through college. In my mind I believed my father saw me as a disappointment. Despite my success in graduating high school, going to college, etc… I truly believed he was ashamed of me. It wasn’t till many years later did I decide speak with him to address his(?) feelings. Through our discussion I found out that he had never felt that way. He was proud of me and what I had accomplished and had only hoped for the best. And I looked back to think of the many times he helped me on this journey. But, because I had created this reality of disappointment I struggled to prove him wrong for many years only to find out there was never anything to prove. The distance I thought we had, I created. I still struggle with my reality. I’m very hard on myself and give myself so many limitations. I think negatively at times. And it can overwhelm and take over into my life.

As with disease. I think the Naked Soul touches on it briefly in his repsonse to Grace on the second article. I too believe that we create diseases in our own bodies. I don’t think it’s a direct result of us “willing” ourselves to be sick. Or thinking we are sick. I think that diseases are a direct reaction from either our choices (unprotected sex) or by our stresses. Today I watch my father’s health deteriorating. About two years ago a tumor was found in his neck. The doctors felt that since it wasn’t growing that there was no need to place him under the knife, that he would be fine. A year later another check up was made, still the same diagnosis. However, the tumor had gotten smaller. It wasn’t until six months ago that my father’s father (my grandfather) was taken to the hospital. My grandfather is slowly dying and the stress placed on my father has been so immense. His tumor has grown over double in 6 months compared to a year ago.  This I believe it’s due to his stress.  Right now my mother has asked him to work Monday through Friday and really taking the weekends off. That means no yard work or anything on the weekend, it’s strictly play. The last month has been difficult and I’ve spent it trying to understand what’s going on. I can choose to be upset about this and stay in some sort of daze. Feeling sorry for myself that my time is limited with my father. Being angry.  Or I can choose to accept this is the place he is at in his life and I will take what I can from it enjoying every moment.  Either way is my choice and perception to take of the situation. As I did when I was young and assumed he was disappointed and ashamed.  The point is, by my conscious acknowledgement of the situation I can direct my movie, my reality the way I want it to go.

So, what’s playing in your movie?